The last time I was moved to write a post following a significant world event was the night when the US launched its attack on Iraq. I simply wrote: “I’m indeed in shock and awe. But now I worry: what’s to follow?” That’s all I wrote. I lost quite a number of friends from that email.
Well, I’m going to write again. The inauguration today was, for me, the culmination of a long, emotional journey.
I first became painfully aware of racism in the US during the summer of 1958. I was home in Anchorage, Ky., between my freshman and sophomore years at Davidson College. I was shopping at a neighborhood hardware store on a particularly hot June day when a black boy about 11 years old pointed to the water fountain and asked, “Can I have a drink of water?” I’ll never forget those big, pleading eyes looking up at me. And I’ll never forget the big sign: WHITES ONLY. I’ve always regretted my reply: “You’ll have to ask the manager.”
I went home crying. In many ways, I’m been crying ever since.
During college and shortly after, I became good friends with a number of black musicians. We played together. We drank together. We talked.
On one occasion in 1963, my own jazz quartet was playing at a small bar in High Point, North Carolina. We were two whites, two blacks. The musical genius among us was pianist Billy Bright, a professor at all-black Winston-Salem Teacher’s College.
Joining us that night were several other black musicians. Some drove over from Greensboro. Two were from New York, including NC-born Danny Richmond, the famous drummer with Charlie Mingus. They all sat in. The music was fabulous.
During our break, the manager came over to our table and said, “You have to move over to the regular ‘band table’ beside the band stand. I’m getting complaints that you are in a regular table for patrons. I protested, but my black friends quietly told me, “It’s all right. We’re accustomed to that.”
Subsequently, I turned to the idealist politicians: the first was Eugene McCarthy; the last, Howard Dean. All were shouldered aside by the establishment. I guess that partly explains why I never voted in a US election after John F. Kennedy in 1960. And I’ve mostly kept my mouth shut for four decades.
I did vote this year. And to my amazement, in a state with a very close margin for Obama, I feel my vote really counted.
I’ve been close to tears ever since. I don’t agree with Obama about a lot of things. But I do think his election signals a passing of the torch to a younger generation, one that, I hope, can forge a more tolerant, more generous, less belicose nation.
What I heard today was an affirmation of all that I’ve felt makes America great. Today, I’m proud to be an American.
I suppose I’ll lose more friends with this post. But, now that I’m turning 70, I accept that as OK. It’s time, finally, for me to say what I feel.
With love to you all…
Sorry, comments are closed.
Comment by
Debra
21 Jan 2009
You might lose some friends, but more likely, you'll gain some.
I watched that inauguration speech and it brought me to tears. Thank you, and all the millions of others who did the right thing. Be proud – you earned that right.
Comment by
tomcolvin
21 Jan 2009
Debra, thank you for that very kind note. It means a lot coming from you.
Comment by
Tim Kimrey
21 Jan 2009
What Debra said… and
As for the friends that leave you because of a disagreement, I'd argue they were never your friends to begin with. Pity them – it's the only time when I feel sympathy is more appropriate than empathy.
Enjoyed the post.
Comment by
tomcolvin
21 Jan 2009
Tim, thanks for your observation. I was most surprised when I lost friends
with my earlier email following the Iraq invasion. I even got back some
truly hateful replies. Of course, the country was deeply enflamed at the
time, and reason seemed to be totally forgotten.
Comment by
Peter
24 Jan 2009
Tom,
I wrote my answer (copied below) to your personal note on the 22nd of January, and you replied very kindly to me via e-mail.
Which again encourages me to post my reply in this blog, joining it – somewhat belatedly – to the already existing comments.
I wrote:
“On the heels of an extraordinary historical event you have sent an extraordinary personal and, it seems to me, a hugely cathartic message.
Unlike with the other mail you mentioned I do hope and pray you will not loose friends again but you will make some more, or reinforce your friendship with the ones you still have, the ones who are left.
Your words certainly have struck a deep note with me, and I am thankful for your candidness.
I do believe that these days millions upon millions of thoughtful and emotionally moved Americans have reflected on the many things that are connected to the change that has come to Washington.
A US President who has made history in the largest-possible way even before his first day in office is indeed and – for a change – in a positive way, a watershed event we ALL can but witness with great pride – and with even more hope, first in line, of course, experienced by the American People.
I am also sure that like you, these days millions upon millions of Americans have had reason – and a rare chance – to reflect on many things, in very personal terms or on a much grander scale, both with a ray of hope (even more so in these difficult times) for the future of their great country, and, I am very sure, in many cases, with a sense of relief, maybe remorse, but surely with the feelings of a huge and truly “collective redemption”, individually deserved or not.
True change comes only within generations – this is something that, for example we are right now learning the hard way in Germany. And not only after Hitler.
Over there, we will celebrate, in 2009, 20 Years of freedom for Eastern Germany after the Fall of the Berlin Wall.
And yet, for all the dizziness and the exhilarating pictures of those heady days, as we have moved on and may now take a hard look at our country, 20 years later, something becomes very clear to all of us, whether we live in the East of Germany or in its Western parts: YES, things did change, some in big ways even, but in many instances not nearly as much as would have been desirable – or even possible – during all these 20 years of our happy “re-unification”.
If this is something of a dampener it is not meant to be, nor should, of course, the analogy be taken too far.
Each historical moment has its own history and its own reasons, as much as it carries its own promise.
Yet, in shaping the collective thoughts and behavior, we not only need events like the historical Inauguration that just took place this week, with so much proud fanfare.
We all need something else, and it is of similar importance.
We will all need time to change. That includes the President and his Government as much as each and everyone of us, and, yes, I dare include (all of us) Non-Americans in that.
“Change” is something no country can leave to its President alone. Change, under his leadership and guidance, can only come from those he leads and advises – yet, and that is the true promise, seldom have the chances been better for that. I am also looking back to South Africa and the “Change” that came with Nelson Mandela and his very own promise.
Of course, again, the US is not South Africa, Capetown is not Washington, and yet, even a superficial look at this country, too, shows that time is of the essence, as will be the patience and the perseverance of the many, and not only on the part of the newly elected President and his Team.
So let's all take another look 10 or 15 years down the road – that is if us old folks will live to see that, too…
I just finished reading the Inaugural Address, again.
All I can say at this moment is: “Thank you, America. Thank you, Mr. President, and Godspeed.”
Thank you, TOM, for your kind words and the inspiration it gives to all those who have been awarded the
privilege of reading them,
Peter
In case you do have the intention of posting your exchanges on your blog and to add a few of the answers you receive – by all means do so, and add my reply to you.
This is so much more than a personal exchange.”
PPS:
I am glad to be able to share my thoughts not only with you, Tom, but also with other visitors/contributors to this blog.
Thanks for your patience.
P.
Comment by
tomcolvin
25 Jan 2009
Thanks, Peter, for posting your personal reply on to our comments section.
By the way, no obviously lost friends this time around so far — tho only
one-quarter of those I sent my thoughts to have responded.
Comment by
Ed
28 Jan 2009
90% of black voters voted for Obama. Are you sure that black racism is better than white racism? I don;t think either is good. And I'm only 50.
Comment by
tomcolvin
29 Jan 2009
Ed, you of course have a point. However, I think what you have pointed to
is one of the hurdles that must be crossed for us to get past racism,
whatever its source. Remember also that before the Iowa causus, most blacks
favored Clinton.
Comment by
Jhone MIller
2 Feb 2009
Thanks for sharing the information .
Comment by
tomcolvin
2 Feb 2009
Jhone, pleased to do so.
Comment by
christine
7 Feb 2009
i feel you've gained real friends when you wrote this heartfelt post. to quote felice, i also hope that the inauguration of the new president will “help re-balance the world.” here's to a more compassionate generation.